before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
