I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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