WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I just put wine in my tea
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize