in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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