that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize