listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
