We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
