I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
