i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
