Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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