i need an iv and a liver transplant
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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