That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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