There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
