New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
