college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
