The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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