the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
