just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Princesses don't give blow jobs
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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