question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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