It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
