somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
