I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize
