I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
