Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize