I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
