Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize