a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
