thus making me awesome and them whores
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
