He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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