how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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