I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
