I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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