remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
