She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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