I'm gonna have a badass scar
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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