This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
