So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
