He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
