I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
