just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
