Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
