That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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