I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
