Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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