So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
