a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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