ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
