he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
