dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
