Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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