hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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