bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
