i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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