just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
