Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
FUCK WHALES
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
