Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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