5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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