Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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