no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
