I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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