I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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