I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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