If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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